Andius\' Art Gallery

[andius]

Well guys bad news,
My girlfriend-ish person was back in town over the weekend, shes been at college. For the couple months before she went to college, she became pretty distant to me, saying she was too depressed and stressed out to maintaining a physical relationship. I loved her with everything i had, so i stayed around, supporting her in every way i could. I sacrificed so much for her, she tranfered her depression onto me everyday. Life became very hellish for me, yet i persisited, I loved this girl and she kept leading me on to beleive things were going to get \"better\" and \"go back to normal\". Anyways, im sleeping over at her house, and she falls asleep. Me being my restless self go out into the other room and use her computer. Im browsing my normal forums and such and really get this feeling that i miss her dearly (even though she is in the other room) so i look in her photo album to find this one picture of me and her (from the good days). Lo and behold, very very graphic pictures of her and my (then) best friend. I dont even know what to do at this point, i go out have about 4 ciggarettes, try to skate some emotions out and just general confusion. I finnally went into her room and woke her, saying we need to talk. It turns out shes been with my best friend for the past couple months, having the time of their lives, while she dumps her problems on me. I just dont even know how to feel anymore. The months leading up to this have been horrible really looking back, I thought things would go back to normal...how could i be that naive? On one hand i feel sorta free, on the other im completely crushed.

The image of my best friend fucking the love of my life in the same spot me and her used to is burned into my head. It makes me sick.

edit: sorry for the horrible grammar here..im just trying to get this all out...im fucking spiraling downward at the moment and upwards at the same time. Im torn in half to my very core. This relationship really defined the person i am today, and now it ends like this. Im sure i eventually become stronger from this, but for now...ahhhh fuck. shit