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Ahoy hoy gang! I need some help, but probably not in the way you thought. This year I\'ll be going as \"The Most Interesting Man in the World.\" What I need are random facts about myself interspersed throughout the conversation.

So far I have:
1. He doesn?t believe in refrigerators. His food stays fresh purely out of respect for him.
2. When crossing the street, he looks only left, then right. Not left-right-left, because he doesn?t dwell on the past.
3. When he gives a woman roses, they never die. Unless she cheats on him.
4. His secretary is the President of Cyprus.
5. He doesn?t pay taxes. He just leaves the IRS a tip.
6. He always oversleeps, because his alarm clock is afraid to wake him up.
7. He had an iPhone before Steve Jobs did.
8. When he goes to donate blood, they give him the snacks first.
9. He once attended a cockfight in Chile. Both chickens fought harder when they saw him in the crowd.
10. A bouncer at a London nightclub once made him pay cover. The British Pound collapsed the next morning.
11. It has been rumored that stainless steel rusts in his presence.
12. As a child, his Huffy bicycle had an automatic transmission.
13. Donald Trump named a building after him.
14. The Federal Reserve sets interest rates based on his mood.
15. His beard was a tank commander in World War II.
16. NASA brightens the moon to make his dates more romantic.
17. Where he shops, Nintendo Wii?s are always in stock.
18. If he tries on a shoe that doesn?t fit, the shoe apologizes.
19. He once couldn?t decide between Tylenol or Advil for his headache. So they made Bayer.
20. When he asks questions, Alberto Gonzales does recall.
21. His Wikipedia article spans the length of the Mississippi River when printed out.
22. His smoke alarm text messages him if there?s a fire.
23. His drivers license expires in the year 4207.
24. ?Star Wars? is based on a dream he once had.

I\'ve made these two up myself:
25. I once challenged a man to chess. My first move checkmated my opponent.
26. I have never tacked a boat. As much as I plead with it, the wind wishes not to inconvenience me.


It\'s 12:30 at night and I just can\'t think of anymore. The more original the better. They are sort of like the Chuck Norris Facts, but classier.

27. The board game called \"Life\" is modeled after my second year of University.

28. I am the one person that Ann Coulter is afraid to insult.
29. Gas\'s octane rating doubles when I merely glance at it.
30. The 12 string guitar was invented to mimic my ability to play both necks of a dual necked guitar at the same time.
31. I often correct the Prime Minister of Germany\'s grammar.
32. Topgun is really about my struggles to beat Eugene at the national spelling bee in first grade. Eugene was a professor at U/Penn


I\'m not too thrilled about 29.

33. You are a regular guest on the Daily Show/ Report.
34. George W. Bush thinks you are a threat to national security but is too scared to admit it.

35. My middle name became one of the inuit words for snow.

36. I am the 102nd member of Senate

37. I am 8th in line for succession to the presidency.

38. I represent all of the faiths

39. I make cookies crumble

Those last two are pretty clever. Good work.

A little late, but 29 is horribly bad.

SC

I was fully aware of it. I didn\'t use that one at all.